Last year I got a phone call from a friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend. He called me for advice. The first thing he said to me was “I need to know how to get my girlfriend back.” He was miserable. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. To make matters worse, they both lived in the same small town and would see each other on almost a daily basis. My friend was also going through some very hard times financially, so his self esteem was really not so high at this point.
We talked about the situation and I told him some things he could do to get his girlfriend back. I also advised him on what he shouldn’t do to try to get her back. And wouldn’t you know, he did almost everything that I told him not to do.
He called her constantly. He called to profess his love to her, and assure her that he would change. He talked to her family all the time about the situation. He would call or text her daughter and ask questions about his ex such as where she was, or who she was hanging out with. He talked to anyone that would listen about the break up. Most of the people he talked to were either related to his girlfriend, or were good friends with her.
He also started to get very passive aggressive because of Facebook. He would look at her page to see what she was writing, and who was leaving her comments. If he saw something he didn’t like, he would post a veiled message on his own Facebook page, hoping that she would see it. This went on for months.
Since they lived in a very small town, he would see her driving by his home quite often. He claimed that it was out of her way to do so, and that she was doing it to check up on him. This drove him nuts.
He was not able to get his girlfriend back. This certainly didn’t have to be the end result for him. Sometimes there is nothing you can do to save a relationship. But, you can do everything in your power to make sure that it doesn’t get worse, even after a break up.
If you have just broken up with your girlfriend you too may be thinking ‘I need to know how to get my girlfriend back.’ Hopefully you will not do what my friend did. The first thing to do is make sure you have no contact at all. This means do not call, text, or email your ex. This also applies to her family and her close friends. Also, don’t look at her Facebook page! This will drive you crazy. And, it will make the situation a lot worse.
You need to break contact for a month. Show her that you are OK with the break up, even though you are not. This will show her that you are a mature person, and she will start to miss you when she has no contact with you. She will start to remember the good times, and most likely she will call you. Once she contacts you, chances are good that you can get her back.
This situation caused my friend a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering. Hopefully you will not make the same mistakes when asking how to get my girlfriend back. If you do, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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